Not long before this book was published, President Jimmy Carter announced that he would be

opting for hospice care to spend his remaining time at home with family. Attached to many of

those news stories about the former president’s decision were informational segments that

attempted to define hospice for the masses. And so, the news organizations reported, “What is

hospice?” Hopefully, a meaningful conversation would be started.

Few experiences are as profound and transformative as confronting the inevitability of death. It

is a subject that elicits a range of emotions, from fear and sadness to reflection and hope. Since

its beginnings in 1974, hospice, or palliative care, has offered a compassionate and empathetic

approach to end-of-life care, offering solace, comfort, and dignity to individuals and their

families as they navigate the final chapter of a loved one’s journey.

In the quarter-century that I have been covering funeral service, I have observed a profession in

a constant state of change. There was a time, not that long ago, where a dividing line was

drawn between hospice and funeral directors. It was a confounding standoff as both entities

looked to impart their expertise on a family that needed both perspectives. As a family is

preparing to say goodbye to a loved one, familiarity with care providers is a comfort and

families would benefit from these providers all being on the same page with the family.

Many funeral service practitioners have embraced the myriad of changes and continue to

effectively serve their communities. It is thanks to people like Lacy Robinson and Greg

Grabowski that they have been able to do so. I have known Lacy for more than half of my time

in funeral service and she has earned a reputation as one of the profession’s forward-thinking

teachers. She recognized long ago that funeral service, also called death care, is not an island

unto itself. And there are many stops along a person’s grief journey and a continuum of care

will tend to those needs. I met Greg a few years ago when he and Lacy presented a workshop

all about breaking down barriers between funeral directors and hospice. Greg has been

involved with the hospice movement since 1999, and has experience in nonprofit, for-profit and

national-level hospice organizations and associations. Together, they are artists who can paint a

picture of the way things can be.

Allow me to digress for a moment to talk about my friend, Lacy. What impresses and inspires

me about her most is her compassion. It was during the dark days of the pandemic that Lacy

demonstrated the depth of her caring spirit. The isolation that came under the social

restrictions was hard on all of us – we were starved for things to do. I mean the top show on

Netflix was “Tiger King!” But those in our senior communities, who could no longer count on

the visits by family, were particularly hard hit. So, Lacy did something about it. She picked up

her accordion and drove down to the Grand Senior Living community and performed a solo

concert in the parking lot. The residents stepped out on their balconies to see the woman that

they knew as their own Lawrence Welk Champagne Lady and heard some rollicking, uplifting

polka music and they clapped and danced along for a very bright memory in those dark days.

There were not many smiles in the early days of the pandemic but Lacy created one for those

residents that they still recall with smiles and laughter. It was a tough time, but Lacy chose to

do something about it.

As a colleague, Lacy urged a skeptical profession to not only look at new sources of care and

urged funeral directors to be a part of them. Everything from death cafes and death doulas to

living funerals, Lacy has kept her focus on not only on the present but what the next five or ten

years can offer. It was in 2019 when she told funeral directors, “Connecting with hospice begins

with open communication.”

Toward that end, this book explores the evolution of hospice care and tears down the curtain

to offer an insider’s glimpse into what hospice means for families and how relationships can be

forged with other end-of-life care providers such as funeral directors. Both funeral directors

and hospice caregivers each have false assumptions about each other. This book attempts to

set the record straight.

There are many funeral directors who are looking for ideas to build partnerships with hospice

from the ground up or repair a tension-filled relationship. The challenges are certainly unique

from the perspective of hospice professionals and funeral service professionals. What we know

for certain is hospice care is growing, and the desire for individuals requesting to spend their

final weeks or days at home continues to increase year after year.

And to the readers, I invite you to open your heart and mind to the wisdom and lessons Lacy

and Greg have to offer. May this book serve as a guide to offer understanding and inspiration to

those who serve the ones who seek comfort in the face of life’s most profound inevitability.

Greg and Lacy are making sure the meaningful conversation about end-of-life care continues. In

other words, this book is them reaching for their accordions to make a difference.

Edward J. Defort has been a funeral service journalist since 1996.